I’m a lecturer in a university in New Zealand (like an associate prof). You need to figure out why you’re failing your courses. Make appointments with the profs and the TAs. Ask them what you’re doing wrong and how you can improve. It may be hard to hear, but if you want to succeed, it’s the only option. What most first year students don’t realise is that college or university is very different from high school. You have to think on a wider scale than you did for high school. It’s a huge leap in maturity of thinking, and it doesn’t come easily to most. It sure didn’t to me. Your problem could be a really simple fix, but you won’t know that unless you ask. Be proactive about this. Make them give you answers. If you can’t get them from the teaching staff, go to student services, or whatever the equivalent is where you are. There are likely tons of options for helping with study, and they’re there for students in your position. The very best of luck to you.

I feel guily when I pray for God to just take him home. It is so mean but I don’t know what to do either.

I will pray for you you pray for me.